I’ve been trying…

to write a poem about him but the words bang around in my head and I end up writing all over the paper like a child.  Words  and lines and drawings are everywhere, but those words and lines and drawings don’t makes sense emotionally (my way) or logically (his way).

The words just won’t seem to come together yet.  That’s quite frustrating to a writer.

Somewhere wrapped in all of these papers filled with jumbled words and cloudy thoughts, is a great poem.  I’m sure of it.  Because love this big and sadness this strong is the stuff great poems are made of.



Blood sprints though my veins
crippling me in place

Aggressively and
my heart lets me know it’s in my chest

I thought I had been heartbroken before

This time is different
This time
I want him back

I have never wanted them back


And then I met a guy
who is taller than you
more handsome than you
with more money than you
and less drama than you
he seems sweeter than you
and neater than you
and he keeps calling me beautiful
like you used to do

my mind keeps wandering back to you
afraid to take the drink he offers
in fear of disrespecting you
as if you even care


In my dreams

at night
after drunk-stumbling around the town
pretending everything is fine
I dream of you

and I don’t want you there
but I don’t sleep unless you’re there

Next to me
in my dreams